fog is lifting

it seems like the fog is starting to lift just a tad, and i am feeling more like my old self again.  not that i have had a hard recovery or anything.  its actually been the easiest post partum recovery both physically and mentally.  i think its just that i am so routine-oriented that in the absence of my usual routine, i feel lost! 

reuben is a month old now.  its hard to believe how fast that first month went...especially considering that the last month i was pregnant seemed to be the month that would never end!!  reuben has been a much much fussier baby than the girls, but even he seems to be adjusting better and staying calm for longer periods of time.  the kids love all the smiles he has been giving them, and he is starting to "coo" and "ahh" when he gets excited. 

at the conclusion of this first month of reuben's life, i have two accomplishments that i am quite proud of! 

#1  i am STILL breastfeeding!  yes...can you believe it??  breastfeeding is horrible for me, and with every baby i try and fail.  my goal was to nurse reuben for a month, and we made it--thanks to the help of some lactation ladies and a great amount of patience from my family!  i am nowhere near comfortable or even confident yet, and we have had to supplement with formula, but i seriously have prayed about this and believe that God has answered my prayer and helped me to reach my goal.   and we'll just keep going...one day at a time.

 on to accomplishment #2...i have resumed homeschooling!! my two weeks of maternity leave just flew by, and before i knew it two weeks had turned into three and then the fourth week was beginnning!!  so, i had to buckle down and break out the books!  as it turns out, the kids were elated to begin their school work again, and it really helped me feel "normal" to be in the kitchen with the school books out.  today will begin our first full week back in the groove, but i am feeling good about it!  we worked ahead so much before reuben was born that the kids will be done with their year in no time at all. 

i feel like i have two months of stuff to catch up on and write about, but if i did it all in one blog, it'd turn into a book.  so, i'll save some thoughts for another day.  until then, i will just say again how thankful i am for reuben's birth, this first month of his life, for my other children and my husband, and for God's unending faithfulness to us.   His presence in my life is a mystery and beyond my comprehension, and yet that presence is my greatest peace and encompasses all that is true.