37 weeks

my midwife is coming over again today. its hard to believe i'm at the stage of pregnancy where she visits EVERY week! it will be this and then two more weekly visits until my due date! i'm still holding out for a february baby, although i have this nagging fear that he/she won't arrive until march. march just seem soooooo far away, and i'm seriously running out of room. i feel like i have a head in my butt and a leg kicking me in the neck. BUT...that feeling is GOOD news in one sense. last week when the midwife came she said that the baby had turned breech. that is not good in my case. #1 because of the kind of birth experience i am strongly desiring. and #2 because there are no doctors that will do a vaginal breech birth. and #3 because i can not have a c-section. my first and only c-section was horrible horrible horrible, and i only had three kids to take care of at the time. i can't imagine having my belly sliced open and then trying to recover from abdominal surgery while caring for six children. what makes a c-section worse for me is that my previous incision is vertical rather than horizotal. it split open and had to be re-stapled, and i can't can't fathom having to recover from that again. SOOOO...to feel baby's head at my butt and feet in my throat is an answer to prayer!! we prayed fervently about it last week, and other family and friends were also praying. in a dream or state of semi-consciousness last Tuesday night, i saw a chicken in a rotissere oven turning and turning and turning and then stopped head down. i took that image as something to encourage my faith and believe that this baby will turn and stay head down. i am looking forward to what the midwife has to say today.