the same

see?? i'm horrible at keeping up with writing! i have a running blog in my head, but it just doesn't seem paper (screen) worthy! you know...its all about every day stuff like food, dirt, dishwashers, dogs, kids, poop, fruit flies, mail, teeth, school, clothes, etc, etc, etc. we get into our routine, and although i love what i do, there's just not much to write about!

as i stated on my facebook status, i am experiencing my annual autumn restlessness. i feel restless and anxious and start making lists like a crazy person. so far i have made lists of birthdays, budgets, job possibilities with their earnings, christmas lists, birthday lists, list of books to read, list of home repairs, list of things to buy when dustin's gets his soccer check, things to give away list, chores to do in the house list, and...i think thats all. i started a new "list" notebook so that all my lists are in the same place. if i had the money, fall would be a very productive time of year because i'd be all over home repairs and chores!! i did buy knobs for the entry closet doors last night. as much as i like making lists, i HATE feeling this way. i have thought and prayed about it so much because there is just no rhyme or reason to it. i have narrowed it down to the possibility that there have been a lot of key changes in my life during the season of fall, and that somewhere deep in my sub-conscious my being begins to expect (or dread) a change.

some of the autumn changes i can think of are school starting every year as a kid, meeting dustin at fairmont, having my first child, moving to west virginia, hearing devestating news about levi, my grandparents dying, dustin getting a teaching job, and certain life-changing spiritual experiences. i think more impactful events in my life have taken place between the months of october and december than in any other time period of the year. so, this is my theory for now. while i live fairly independently for most of the year, its during this season that i have a strong need for community. i have begun to pray that God would see me through.

oh...and i'm reading a really good book for the third time. some books just get better and better the more you read them! this book is called "i am not a social activist", but the title is somewhat deceiving. my friend steffi bought it for me, and gifts is my love language, so its an extra special book to me! since this post is getting really long, maybe later on this week i'll write some of my favorite lines from the book. :)